


14.Dec.1889

by soulless_lover



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Addiction, Angst and Porn, Comfort Sex, Internal Monologue, M/M, Oral Sex, Orgasm Delay/Denial, POV First Person, Podfic, Podfic Available, Podfic Length: 0-10 Minutes, Shameless Smut, Shota
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-27
Updated: 2013-12-27
Packaged: 2018-01-06 10:00:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1105474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soulless_lover/pseuds/soulless_lover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I want him to be rough, I want him to be gentle; I want him to stroke me as if I were a kitten, I want him to sink his wolfish teeth into my shoulder; I want him to send chills down my spine and warm me from the inside out. I want everything he can give and then some, I want him to prove his loyalty by continuing to pleasure me even after he’s spent and exhausted. <i>More, Sebastian, more, don’t stop, don’t stop!</i> I say, and he doesn’t.</p>
            </blockquote>





	14.Dec.1889

**Author's Note:**

> podfic available [here](http://tindeck.com/listen/urxt). again, apologies for my imperfect English accent... which is even harder to do while trying to maintain a falsetto. ^^;;; 
> 
>  
> 
> written while listening to [this song](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cm26jDSFbZM).

Tonight, the snow is blowing outside, the wind is whipping past the windows and rattling the panes, and as I sit alone in my room, I want him.

I want him in my room, in my bed, in my arms, in me. I want his voice in my ear, his hot breath on my skin, his wicked tongue doing sinful things to me between chuckles. 

I think of his eyes, glowing like the embers in my bedroom fireplace; I think of his long, graceful hands touching me everywhere; I think of his smooth skin, slippery with sweat, sliding against me; and just as I’ve begun to shiver and am reaching down to relieve my frustration, he is there to do it for me, in all the ways I cannot myself.

His mouth is like Hellfire, swallowing me up, damning me; his kiss is sweeter and wetter than the most shameless of all my dreams; his gentle touch is so warm and talented; he finds nothing embarrassing in licking the parts of my body I find dirty, and he even seems to delight in it; and when he looms over me, my legs spread eagerly for him and I cannot wait to have him inside me, not caring how slatternly I must sound as I command him to hurry, hurry, do it.

Over and over again, he does: as I lie on my back and look up at his face, as I kneel on the bed and clutch the bedpost, as I bury my face in the pillows and twist my fists into the sheets. I cannot get enough of him, cannot have him deep enough within me, cannot see his handsome face contort in ecstasy enough times; I want him to fuck me until I fall apart, catch me up in his powerful arms and piece me back together, and then do it all over again.

Deftly, easily, he turns me onto my side, lifts my leg up over his thigh, and pushes into me again; I am whimpering and writhing as he moves oh so slowly, reaching up to twist my fingers in his hair, crying out as I rock back against him and demand more. He runs his hands over my skin and plays my body like a fine instrument, exhaling soft laughter at the music I make; he brings me to the edge and then stops and waits until the urge has passed – and then he repeats the process, again and again and again, until I am half mad with frustration and cursing him in every language he’s taught me. _I can’t,_ I tell him, _I can’t, I can’t,_ but the merciless bastard only murmurs into my ear, _You will._ And when I simply cannot take it anymore and I spill all over his hand without even meaning to, he buries his face in the crook of my neck and shoulder, growling softly, and spends deep inside me, filling me so completely that when he withdraws, it drips out of me and onto the bedlinens.

He picks me apart like overripe fruit, digging out all the seeds of my unrest and burying them in pleasure until something like peace blossoms from them; I forget everything else in this miserable world, forget that it even exists; all I want at the moment is here in my arms, his hair tickling my face as he rocks above me, his sweet scent filling my nostrils like opium smoke, my fingernails reaping red rows into his alabaster shoulders. I’m lost, damned, a corrupted child impaled on the demonic length of him, and there’s nowhere else I’d rather be. 

_Yes, Sebastian, just like that – do it again, again, more, don’t stop._ He tells me with a chuckle that I’m greedy, and I am. I know I am. He is mine and I want every last drop of him; I want to climb atop him like a dragon hoarding its treasure and ride him until my breath gives out and he must finish it by rolling us over and pounding into me as I call his name like an unholy litany. I want to wrap my arms around his infernal neck as he holds me on his lap and bucks his hips up into me. I want to forget my pride and my shame and seduce him with my body, pressing my chest to the mattress and raising my hips up to offer myself to him even as I peer over my shoulder with innocent eyes.

I want him to be rough, I want him to be gentle; I want him to stroke me as if I were a kitten, I want him to sink his wolfish teeth into my shoulder; I want him to send chills down my spine and warm me from the inside out. I want everything he can give and then some, I want him to prove his loyalty by continuing to pleasure me even after he’s spent and exhausted. _More, Sebastian, more, don’t stop, don’t stop!_ I say, and he doesn’t.

It’s so good, almost too good, like a drug that obliterates all my sensibilities – in and out, in and out, dragging me down into Hell as I drown in this paradise the devil has created just for me; pull me under, pull me down, I don’t care, just don’t leave me alone tonight. Make me forget the date, make me forget my past, make me forget the ones who forced me to do these things against my will. Let me take you into my mouth and swallow your rich, sweet seed to forget the sour, sweaty stench and bitter flavor of the disgusting men who crammed themselves down my throat; let me kiss your long white neck and run my hands all over your body, let me appreciate your inhuman beauty to forget the ugly, hairy paunches and bald heads of those who violated me; let me cling to you for warmth and safety in the darkness as the snow whips past the windowpanes and the night bears on and on.

And when I simply cannot do it again and I am sleepy and sore, I want him to envelop me with his protective embrace, to keep my bed warm and my dreams pleasant, to swoop into my nightmares on great black wings and drive away the shadows that are so much more evil and frightening to me than he is.

Be my everything, Sebastian: be my knight, my lover, my concubine, my butler, my caregiver, my protector, my strongest and most cherished chess piece, my damnation, my impending doom, my perfect death.

I don’t care if it’s all a lie.

Just don’t leave me alone tonight.

 

END.


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